This is fornakasty so I share the pretty pretty mental pics =]
I don't know how to size or anything so yeah... lol
Title: Make Me Smile
Pairing: Main KyuMin, minor Kangteuk, Yewook, Eunhae, Kichul, Sihan
Rating: NC 13+ or something, nothing graphic
Summary: Sungmin hates hospitals, he always has. After a favour to his friend Leeteuk, one boy has Sungmin coming back to the hospital every single day in the hopes to save him. Why? Because: “He’s not fighting it. He isn't trying. He’s letting it kill him.”
Author’s Notes: Fails at summary, I know. Shut up. Not sure if Korea has a kind of ‘Last Laugh’ program, but this is like that. Please ignore the crapness of writing…
Sungmin pouted. This is not what he expected. He scowled Leeteuk-umma for roping him into this. This was definitely not the fun he was promised. He was going to act extra annoying to pay him back. He might even chuck a tantrum of it. That will teach him…
Sungmin grinned. He knew how much Leeteuk hated tantrums. He could never figure out how to handle them. Walk away? Yell back? Send in Kangin-appa? What he usually ended up doing was standing there watching until you eventually run out of things to say, which for Sungmin could last hours. Shindong was the worst – the lungs on that man! Jeez, the noise of those tantrums…
Leeteuk was going to get a hell of tantrum for sending Sungmin to a hospital. He hated hospitals – they made him nervous and sick. Everything here was so serious and sad. It didn’t suit Sungmin at all. Not to mention umma’s car accident which gave Sungmin a panic attack whenever Leeteuk mentioned driving.
He concluded that Leeteuk-umma was going to get a tantrum and he was going to try to get out of this.
Sungmin winced when he saw who was coming to meet him. It completed his perfect day. A round, wobbly woman started towards him with a massive grin. The smiling stretched her flabby skin and made disturbing wrinkles. Sungmin wished she didn’t smile. She stopped in front of him, about a foot below him, and smiled wider. Sungmin cringed.
“You must be Leeteuk’s friend! Welcome! We are happy to have you! I’m Head Nurse here!” Sungmin nodded forcing a smile onto his face. He could tell she was happy, she was spitting with excitement. She spun on her heel, her stomach caught up a second later, and starting walking away.
“Follow me!” Sungmin dragged his feet as he followed the strange woman. She always ended her sentences a note higher than the rest. She always bounced slightly in her step. She always made jarring movements which shifted her considerable weight unpleasantly. She always annoyed him.
“I would like to know your name!” Somehow she managed to avoid ending a sentence in anything but an exclamation mark.
“I’m Lee Sungmin,” he muttered. She grinned wider again and Sungmin forced another smile. He held his head back as she put the name tag on him so she didn’t get too close to his face. She didn’t notice, she was shifting her weight unnervingly too fast to notice. He already had a clipboard in his hand before she had finished her movement.
“These are the names and room numbers of the people you will cheer up! You can come in whenever you want, but at least once a week is kind! About 10-30 minutes each will do! Thankyou for your time! Tell Leeteuk I said hi!” She had pushed him out of her way and was off before he could respond. Sungmin was thankful for that at least. He didn’t even bother mentioning he was only supposed to be there for the one day.
He dragged his feet along the hall looking at his list. He had 5 names on it.
“For now…” he muttered as Leeteuk somehow ended up seeing half the hospital for his session. Leeteuk loved meeting with all the patients – he knew all too well how scary and sad hospitals could be. He loved making it a better place for them.
Sungmin didn’t. He didn’t really understand why people did this. It was way too depressing for him. Seeing people who are about to die wasn’t his thing. He liked the living. Just because Leeteuk and Kangin’s 4th anniversary doesn’t mean he can make Sungmin do this… well that’s what he tried to say. He lost that argument when Eunhyuk and Donghae ganged up on him too. They were going to clean the apartment (after they mess it up after their wild sex, of course) and Shindong was going to do the washing and organise dinner (out of the apartment – he fled as soon as Eunhae said their plans) and Sungmin got stuck with Leeteuk’s charity work.
“Brilliant…” he muttered reaching his first door. He pushed open the door and was greeted by an old man. Sungmin settled into a chair next to Mr Park (which he finally remembered after checking his clipboard 14 times) for his stories about the war. He had never actually been in a war, but decided to tell his story about sitting at home doing nothing anyway, telling of the horrors of war from a lazy man’s perspective. After he had finally dozed off somewhere between episode 23 and 28 of his favourite TV show of the time, Sungmin got to move on.
His second patient wasn’t much better. She was small, frail 10 year old sick little girl with cancer that made him sing and dance and play dollies with him. He didn’t mind this too much, feeling sorry for the little girl, but after she insisted on trying to plait his hair, he told her had to go. After twenty minutes in the bathroom trying to fix his hair, Sungmin finally got to his third patient.
Three must have been his lucky number, or unlucky as he originally thought. He edged open the door, partially hoping for the guy to already be asleep so he didn’t have to bother but pale eyelids flickered open when he stepped in. The male on the bed, only a few years Sungmin’s junior, looked like ghost. His pale and frail body was slumped on the bed, neatly tucked in. He had obviously not moved since the nurse tucked him in. His dark hair and dark eyes were the only contrast to his pale face. The boy looked to him and Sungmin forced a smile onto his face. He checked his clipboard once more before speaking.
“Hey Cho Kyuhyun, I’m Lee Sungmin. I’m a friend of Leeteuk’s, taking over for the day.”
“Hm,” Kyuhyun’s eyes closed again. Sungmin waited for him to open his eyes again. Minutes passed and Kyuhyun didn’t move so Sungmin sat on the chair beside him.
“So what do you want to do?” Sungmin asked in the perky voice he was forcing himself into. One eye opened, side glancing at him before flickering closed again. An awkward silence followed as Sungmin waited impatiently for the boy to speak, or even move. Sungmin checked his sheet – maybe the boy couldn’t speak or something. A long, confusing title was next to his name, saying what he was sick from. Sungmin moved past that as he was obviously out of his depth on that topic. He moved to the symptoms column and read.
‘Weakened muscles, slow reflexes…’ Those were some of the ones he could understand. Nowhere on the list did it say that he was unable to speak, or move. It didn’t say apathy either, so Sungmin tried again.
“What does Leeteuk usually do here?” The boy’s hand twitched slightly, motioning to the novel on the bedside table. Sungmin leaned over to reach it, glancing back at the boy. His eyes were closed again. Sungmin flipped open the book to where the bookmark was and glanced up at Kyuhyun.
“So Leeteuk reads to you?” The boy’s head moved slightly, gesturing a no. While Sungmin waited for an explanation, another boy moved into the room.
“Uh hi…” Sungmin turned to face the speaker. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m Lee Sungmin; I’m replacing Leeteuk for the day.”
“Oh,” The boy’s eyes flickered to Kyuhyun before continuing. “I’m Yesung.” Yesung moved over towards the bed.
“I was about to start reading to him,”
“Leeteuk doesn’t read to him,” Sungmin frowns slightly.
“What did Leeteuk do here then?”
“He sits and reads then leaves.” Yesung glanced behind him and smiled slightly as another man entered. He paused in front of Yesung to squeeze his hand and receive a one armed hug before moving to sit next Kyuhyun.
“This is Ryeowook,” Ryeowook glanced in his direction and blinked in shock. He obviously didn’t see him when he walked in.
“Oh, hi. Leeteuk’s not here?”
“Ah no, I’m just filling in for the day. I’m Sungmin.” Ryeowook nodded and stroked the boy’s hair with a look of remorse. When he received no response, his face fell further. Sungmin stood in silence of the man’s heartbreak as the boy on the bed didn’t move. He didn’t even react to his friend coming to see him.
“Oh, well maybe I should just leave…” Sungmin slowly backed out of the room. Yesung glanced at Ryeowook before following him out.
“I’m sorry if I intruded…” Sungmin didn’t know what to say. He was still reeling from the emotions he was witnessed.
“It’s okay. It’s been like this for a while now…” Yesung sunk into a couch outside the room and held his head in his hands. Sungmin contemplated leaving but didn’t want to be rude so he sat next to him.
“So what…” Despite his worries about imposing, his nagging curiosity got the better of him. He needed to know, it was just how he was. Yesung’s head rose from his hands and rested on the back of couch with his eyes closed. With a pained expression on his face, he answered.
“I can never pronounce the actual name. It attacks the muscles, weakens them. It destroys the tissue or something.” His eyes opened slightly and he sighed. “It can usually be fought off but…” Yesung’s head dropped again.
“But what?” Yesung glanced up to look Sungmin in the eye with tears threatening to spill over.
“He’s not fighting it. He isn't trying. He’s letting it kill him.”
Sungmin’s 4th patient had her family with her so he didn’t need to stay. She thanked him for coming though and wanted to wish Leeteuk a happy anniversary. As he sat and talked with an old lady, the fifth and final person on his list, he couldn’t help himself. He kept thinking about him. He kept thinking about him the entire trip home, all through dinner… all night. It wasn’t until two full days of thinking about him non-stop that he finally gave into his curiosity and spoke to Leeteuk about it.
“I don’t really want to talk about that, Minnie,” Sungmin frowned. That definitely wasn’t the answer he wanted or expected from his umma. It was natural for Leeteuk to avoid talking about sensitive topics, but he had never run from it. And Leeteuk was running. Sungmin jogged over and stopped him.
“Minnie…” Sungmin ignored the whine of protest and locked eyes with the leader.
“Leeteuk…” Leeteuk sighed in defeat and motioned towards the living room. The both settled into the couch.
“What do you want to know, Sungmin?”
“Everything you do. I just want to understand,” Leeteuk sighed.
“He got sick about 7 months ago. According to Yesung, he was in music class when he collapsed. By the time they got him to the hospital, the disease had destroyed most of his muscles. They operated and put him on antibiotics and such and he began to get better… but…” Leeteuk sighed and dropped his head. “They don’t know what happened next, but suddenly he was getting sicker, fast. They couldn’t explain it… but Yesung thinks that it’s because of Kyuhyun’s depression. He didn’t care enough to get better anymore.”
“Why?” Leeteuk slumped back.
“He just… gave up. He doesn’t want to live.” They fell into an uncomfortable silence before Sungmin spoke.
“I want to help.” Leeteuk smiled weakly.
“I don’t think we can, Minnie…” Sungmin stood up, suddenly empowered.
“I don’t care if I can’t actually help. I don’t care if I fail. I have to try.” Leeteuk smiled up at his determined friend as he pledged himself. “I will not give up until I make Kyuhyun smile!”
“You’re back again!” Once again the hyper Head Nurse managed to end all her sentences in exclamation points. She turned too fast and shook repulsively as she shuffled off to her him a visitor’s badge. Sungmin just waited patiently – he had gotten used to her strangely chipper attitude around 5 weeks ago, about 3 weeks after he started making daily visits to see Kyuhyun.
For the first two weeks, Kyuhyun just ignored his attempts to start conversations. He just closed his eyes when Sungmin started doing clowning to try and please him. Yesung and Ryeowook would sometimes watch, but they never laughed. Even if they wanted to, they would just watch Kyuhyun… hoping…
In his fourth week there, Kyuhyun would respond with weak nods and motions but he never participated. He would lie watching Sungmin, following his movements and actions. Yesung and Ryeowook would leave them alone and Sungmin would just sit next to Kyuhyun, watching him sleep. It took him four weeks, but by then he finally figured it out. He was falling for him.
After six weeks, Kyuhyun was starting to respond. He would mutter his responses. He would snort in amusement every now and again, particularly when Sungmin fell over things. He would always turn to look at Sungmin whenever he walked in. Yesung and Ryeowook would sit with them sometimes and join in the conversations. Kyuhyun wouldn’t look at them though – he was always watching Sungmin in wonder.
On his seventh week there, Sungmin was sitting calmly on the edge of Kyuhyun’s bed reading a book when he spoke. For the first time, Kyuhyun spoke a full sentence. A short sentence, but a sentence nevertheless.
“Why are you here?” Sungmin’s jaw dropped and it hung there until Sungmin remembered that he had to breathe. He took a breath and smiled at Kyuhyun.
“I want to help,” Sungmin tried to pretend to casually continue reading, but he was never a good actor.
“I… I don’t know,” Sungmin closed the book and looked at the younger boy on the bed. “I just want to.” Kyuhyun nodded and settled back in to bed.
It has been a week since Kyuhyun spoke. Sungmin had been back every single day but Kyuhyun hadn’t spoken again. Yesung and Ryeowook didn’t believe him. Kyuhyun hadn’t spoken to them in months, let alone ask a question. Sungmin kept trying to start conversations, like he always did, but Kyuhyun went back to his silence, but he didn’t give up. He was never going to give up.
“Here you go!” Sungmin smiled to the Head Nurse as she handed over his visitor badge. “Enjoy your stay!” Sungmin nodded to her and started off down the hall. He made it halfway when he bumped into Ryeowook. Despite always being there with Yesung and Ryeowook, Sungmin rarely talked to the younger male. He never left Kyuhyun’s side and never really spoke up. But now they were alone in the hallway together, Sungmin got his chance.
“Hey Ryeowook.” The brunette turned and smiled slightly. He never seemed to smile properly, even when Yesung held him.
“Hey Sungmin – back again?”
“Of course,” Sungmin responded with a bright smile. He never could stay away from here, even for a day. Whenever something came up, he’d work it around his ‘Kyuhyun time’ even if it meant working in the early mornings or late nights. It was worth it to spend time with Kyuhyun. Ryeowook smiled a little wider.
“I’m thankful for what you’re doing here, but I have to ask you to do something…” Sungmin’s happiness faltered. Please don’t ask me not to ever come back. I can’t do that… It would kill me… Sungmin’s fears choked him until Ryeowook continued. “Please don’t leave.” A smile etched onto Sungmin’s face, slowly but surely. “I’ve seen a change in Kyuhyun, one I didn’t think possible,” Ryeowook turned to look at Kyuhyun’s door a few metres down the hall in thought. “Don’t leave him – Kyuhyun won’t be able to handle another person abandoning him.” Sungmin frowned.
“Who has abandoned him?”
“Everyone. His father abandoned the family before he was even born. His mother died during his birth. His older brother was sent to jail when Kyuhyun was 5. His older sister sent him off to boarding school when he was 7. He never had any friends – not until university with me and Yesung…” Ryeowook grimaced as he looked to Sungmin guiltily. “We left him too…”
“What?” Sungmin growled, struggling to restrain his growing anger.
“We went on holidays together. Two days later Kyuhyun got sick. We didn’t hear about it for weeks…” Ryeowook looked on the verge of tears now. “He thought we didn’t want to be with him. By the time we got there…” Ryeowook’s head dropped as he muttered the last words. “We were too late…” Sungmin stayed frozen for a while before glancing to his watch.
“I’m late,” he muttered and quickly passed Ryeowook but not before the other boy muttered.
“Please don’t leave…” Sungmin didn’t respond but instead somewhat stormed into Kyuhyun’s room. The swung and slammed shut behind him and he halted a few steps into the room still fuming. Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow at his expression and instantly all Sungmin’s anger faded. He smiled widely and went to Kyuhyun’s side as per normal.
“Hey Kyuhyun,” He sat right next to him, leaning against his side slightly as he leaned back on the bed. He had begun to do that a few days ago and everyday he’d get closer and closer – testing the boundaries. He knew there was going to be a day where he was either on top of Kyuhyun or pushed away, but he wasn’t sure which one was coming. Hoping for the first and dreading the latter, he kept testing anyway.
Kyuhyun nodded his hello and twisted his head to look at Sungmin. Only then did Sungmin realise how close they were this time. Barely an inch apart Sungmin began to flush. He pulled away, only for Kyuhyun to grab his wrist. The grip he held on Sungmin’s wrist was astonishingly stronger than Sungmin ever thought possible. The iron grip didn’t release even when he settled back on the bed.
“Don’t…” Kyuhyun muttered softly dropping his gaze. Sungmin leant forward in an attempt to comfort him but Kyuhyun only flinched back. He leant back into the back of the bed and looked across at the younger boy. Sungmin smiled reassuringly.
“I’m not going anywhere, Kyuhyun. I won’t leave you. I promise,” Kyuhyun locked eyes with him, searching them for any hint of a lie. Finding none, he slowly released his vice grip on Sungmin’s slender wrist. Sungmin smiled again and shuffled slightly in his seat, getting comfortable. Just as Sungmin went to start speaking, Kyuhyun shuffled in his seat too, positioning himself so he was resting against Sungmin’s shoulder. They sat in silence with Sungmin threading his fingers through Kyuhyun’s dark silky hair until a small sob escaped Kyuhyun’s throat.
“Kyu?” Sungmin whispered, watching the younger boy’s body shake with silent sobs. Sungmin hugged Kyuhyun closer to his body, wrapping one arm underneath the boy to cradle him. Sungmin tenderly shushed and calmed the other boy, muttering kind reassurances in his ear. “It’s okay Kyuhyun… Everything will be okay…” Sungmin brushed some of Kyuhyun’s hair from his forehead and planted his lips there delicately.
A split second later Sungmin had been shoved to the floor. Sungmin glanced up from his seat on the floor to see Kyuhyun sitting upright and staring at him in shock. He stared at him with wide, panicked eyes which were still wet from his tears. The accusations in his stare alone made Sungmin’s stomach wrench. As Sungmin stumbled to his feet, Kyuhyun flinched back from him involuntarily. Sungmin caught this movement and tears sprang to his eyes.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” Sungmin muttered as he tore from the room, sprinting down the halls. He had to escape, he had to flee. His worst nightmare had come to life; Kyuhyun had pushed him away. Not only had he pushed him away, he threw him off. Sungmin reached his car just as the tears overwhelmed him. He ruined it; the best thing that ever happened to him. He let his feelings get in the way, he let them take over. Kyuhyun would never want to see him again.
Sungmin didn’t want to break his promise, but he had to.
He would never go to see Kyuhyun again…
“Minnie, do you want to something to eat?” Sungmin glanced up from his work to his friend at the doorway. Leeteuk was standing with a small frilly apron on, smiling at him. Sungmin didn’t reciprocate the smile. Sungmin didn’t smile at all anymore. He couldn’t, not without…
“I’m not hungry…” Sungmin muttered before his name crossed his mind. One thought and he’d lose his appetite. Leeteuk’s smile dropped from his face instantly; it had taken all his strength to put it there in the first place.
“Minnie, you haven’t eaten all day.” And all last week, Leeteuk thought to himself. Sungmin had barely left his room since he returned from the hospital in tears. Leeteuk hadn’t managed to get the entire story – Ryeowook and Yesung didn’t know what had happened and Sungmin wasn’t in the right state to talk – so all Leeteuk could do was wait patiently for Sungmin to get better. And he would get better. He had to…
“Not hungry. Gotta work.” Sungmin looked down at his work again. His current university course had suffered a lot in the past few months, seeing he misses so many lectures. It didn’t bother him at all, but doing the work kept his mind occupied. It kept him going.
Leeteuk nodded and stepped out of the room, shrugging in defeat to Eunhyuk and Donghae as he passed them in the hall. The two boys gripped each other’s hands tighter, watching Sungmin’s doorway from a few metres away, sending their prayers to the boy inside before leaving the apartment. Kangin hugged his boyfriend in comfort when he walked back into the kitchen. Shindong looked up from his lunch and watched as Leeteuk fought back his tears.
“He’ll get better, Teukie. He will. He just needs time…” Kangin muttered, stroking down his back reassuringly.
“Yeah… time…” Leeteuk mumbled into his chest.
“Hello?” Sungmin answered, picking up his vibrating phone. He didn’t have a ringtone anymore; any song reminded him of what he fought to forget.
“Sungmin?” A deep voice crackled over the bad reception. Sungmin frowned slightly as he recognised the voice.
“Yesung?” More static responded and Sungmin struggled to catch the words.
“Sungmin… get here… its Kyuhyun,” Sungmin froze in his seat, the phone slowly slipping from his grip.
“Kyu?” he breathed in a wisp of panic.
“The Doctors…” A wave of panic crashed on Sungmin, sending him flying to his feet and his work sprawling over the floor.
“Yesung?” Sungmin partially screamed into the phone, only receiving one more word before the static drowned out his voice.
Leeteuk glanced up as Sungmin flew past the kitchen. He ran after him, catching him as he left the apartment, holding the door shut.
“Sungmin?” Sungmin turned back to glance briefly at Leeteuk. After one look at his expression of panic and pain, Leeteuk released the door instantly and Sungmin was gone, sprinting down the hallway. Kangin came to stand beside him, watching out the door curiously.
“We need to get to the hospital. Now.”
“Sungmin?” The hyper head nurse questioned as Sungmin flew past her. He didn’t even bother to pause at the door, let alone stop to chat. He raced along the familiar corridors, skidding to a halt outside the door. He stepped into the room, his eyes flickering to the bed instantly.
His heart froze. It was empty.
His heart sunk. The room was clear.
His heart shattered. He was gone…
Sungmin hit the floor. His sobs rocked his body as his fists clenched to his sides. He had seen this image so many times on television. The way the room is cleared, the bed is made… when the past occupant no longer needs it. When they die…
A hand rested on his shoulder. He tried to shrug it off but it didn’t budge. Sungmin was about to yank away from the gentle touch when a soft voice spoke in his ear.
“Sungmin…” The voice wasn’t Ryeowook or Yesung. It was slightly familiar, but Sungmin didn’t care. He hauled himself to his feet and tried to push past the figure without a glance when an iron grip fixed around his wrist. His eyes slowly rose from the floor, tear-filled and blotchy, to meet the eyes of the other.
Warm brown eyes smiled back at him through dark lashes. His pale skin shone with new strength. His crooked smile etched onto his face. The beautiful man before him didn’t disappear, he didn’t fade. He was real…
“Kyuhyun…” Sungmin breathed. Relief flooded his body, followed by happiness. New tears sprung to his eyes, but he didn’t mourn anymore. A small smile of disbelief spread on his face as the tears flowed. Kyuhyun’s hand reached up to wipe the tears from Sungmin’s cheeks, lingering there. Sungmin didn’t dare close his eyes, but he leant against the hand cupping his cheek.
“Kyu…I-” Kyuhyun shushed him and leaned in closer, smiling as he stared into Sungmin’s eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Sungmin. When you were so close…” Kyuhyun’s smile dropped slightly. “I haven’t felt anything in a long time. I never thought I would again,” Kyuhyun’s other arm wound around Sungmin’s waist, pulling him against his body. “I was scared of what I felt. I’m so sorry…” Sungmin shushed him this time with a smile.
“It’s okay…” Their lips met briefly, just a chaste kiss before Sungmin enveloped the other boy in his arms. “How… Yesung’s call! There was bad reception, but…”
“I asked him to call you. I wanted you here when the Doctor’s discharged me.”
“… Discharge… Wait, you’re going home? How? Your illness…”
“I fought it. It was you, Sungmin. You gave me a reason to fight,” Kyuhyun tilted the older boy’s head up to look him in the eyes. “You are my reason to live… I love you,” A single tear rolled down Sungmin’s cheek as he responded.
“I love you too, Kyuhyun…” Their lips met once again, their mouths crashing together with such force they couldn’t breathe. Their tongues bound together, their arms wound tightly around each other. They were completely lost in the moment when they were interrupted.
“I thought you said it was an emergency!” Kangin whined, turning away from the love fest.
“I thought it was!” Leeteuk snapped back looking to Sungmin, still nestled in Kyuhyun’s arms. “Care to explain?” He prompted, tapping his foot as his hand found their ways to his hips. Kyuhyun smiled against Sungmin’s hair.
“Not really; too difficult.” Sungmin concluded turning back to Kyuhyun. “Want to go now?”
“Go where?” Kyuhyun asked in confusion.
“My room…” Sungmin stated matter-of-factly. Kyuhyun smirked and nodded eagerly, gripping Sungmin’s hand tightly as the elder led him out of the room.
“Eww,” Shindong muttered as they past. “I’m so not going back there now…” Kangin rolled his eyes.
“Okay, how about we find Ryeowook and Yesung and go out, leaving them to go at it, yes?” Leeteuk nodded in agreement while Shindong just dry retched.
“Why do I hang out with you guys?” Shindong muttered, trailing after Kangin and Leeteuk nevertheless.
“Some doctors…” The younger of the two men muttered as the entered the dark resting room for medical staff. He was a sweet faced yet serious man barely in his 20’s yet already an accomplished doctor. “Those guys are fools! How can they not know why Kyuhyun pulled out of it?” The elder of the two, a more effeminate male, shook his head.
“How would you explain it then, Doctor Kim Kibum?” He teased, dropping onto one of the beds available. Kibum, the doctor, smiled.
“Love, obviously Nurse Kim Heechul,” Heechul snorted.
“You sound like Doctor Geng and Choi from the ER. If I have to hear either of them blabbering on about their love life again…” Heechul made extremely violent gestures which made an elderly patient frown as they passed the open door. Kibum smiled at the elderly patient before closing the door and approaching the man on the bed.
“Don’t tell me you’re jealous…” Kibum murmured as he leant in to ghost his breath against Heechul’s neck. Heechul’s breath caught as he arched up on the bed, allowing Kibum to slip his hands under his shirt, dragging it off him painfully slow. Heechul smirked and dragged Kibum by his collar until he was hovering over him.
“Well, they are both surgeons… They are good with their hands,” Heechul teased breathlessly, his hands slipping up Kibum’s shirt. Kibum growled and pushed Heechul hard against the bed.
He had a challenge; upstage a surgeon’s skill with his hands…
A/N: Okay I’m sorry!!! I couldn’t leave Shihan and Kichul out of the story. This is how they came in and I find it amusing. I was going to write a skinfic about it… but I don’t know if I will… Anyway, I figured this story needed SOME action seeing Kyu isn't really in the best condition for it… So Kichul it was. Anyway, tell me what you think =]
Title: Ipod shorts
Rating: I dunno, but there’s some adult content… dunno what that rates…
Pairings: Too many to list
Summary: I shuffles on my ipod and wrote stuff… it’s explained later… It’s pretty much 10 short stories of fluff… I think maybe one angst… Enjoy =]
I got this idea from http://forfirith-tda.livejournal.com and I don’t know much more than that so yeah, not flames over it. I did go overtime on one or two of them, mainly because I get distracted too easily to write it in one go… =]
This was the task:
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like
2. Put iTunes on random
3. For each song that plays, write something related to the theme you picked inspired by the song. You only have the time span of the song to write.
4. Do 10 of these, then post.
1. GD TOP ~ Baby Boy – Beyoncé
2. Kibum Donghae ~ Bounce – Timbaland
3. TOP Daesung ~ Get Over You – Sophie Ellis-Bextor
4. Yunho Yoochun ~ Freak On A Leash – Korn
5. Yoochun Junsu ~ Barbie Girl – Aqua
6. Jaejoong Yunho ~ BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM – Vengaboys
7. Kibum Heechul ~ If Only She Knew – Michelle Branch
8. Kibum Yesung ~ Nobody’s Fool – Avril Lavigne
9. Kangin Leeteuk ~ What Have You Done – Within Temptation
10. Kyuhyun Sungmin ~ We Can Go Anywhere – Jesse McCartney
1. Baby Boy – Beyoncé
Seunghyun smiled as he turned to his partner at his side. The shorter boy was smiling back, holding his hand in a death grip in excitement.
‘Finally…’ Seunghyun thought as they had only moments until their dreams came true. It had been months of ‘I doubt it’ and ‘I don’t think so’. It had been months of rejections. No one wanted them, two guys, to have them.
Now they had them.
Seunghyun and Jiyong smiled so wide it would hurt in the morning when the lady walked in with three kids in tow.
“Youngbae, Daesung and Seunghyun,” The woman introduced them before handing them over. “They are yours,” Jiyong squealed and held his new babies close to him.
They finally had them… They had finally been accepted…
They finally had the baby boy they were always dreaming of having… with a catch. There was only one option for having a baby boy. Having three…
2. Bounce – Timbaland
Kibum usually detested dance practise. It took him forever to get the routines and even when he did, he was never as good as the others. He hated breaks more. They usually meant Eunhyuk and Donghae popping and locking and dancing their hearts out, looking like gods as they just moved to the beat. Kibum was so envious… he’d KILL to be able to do what they could do.
Kibum has since decided he LOVES dance practises…
“Everyone’s gone already, Hae…” Kibum whined refusing to sink to the floor like his body was telling him to do. Three hours for god’s sake! THREE HOURS of non-stop dancing. He was dead on his feet. Donghae wasn’t. Donghae still wanted to dance. Kibum sighed in defeat. Donghae was using his pout – Kibum was finished. He sunk to the floor and waved his hand in Donghae’s general direction, giving his hyung the go ahead to dance until he got bored. Knowing Donghae like Kibum did, it wouldn’t last longer than half an hour. That boy has the worst attention span.
But as soon as the music comes on, Donghae has Kibum’s attention. It’s a song that Donghae surely couldn’t know what the lyrics mean… ‘Bounce’ by Timbaland. He heard it when they watched Step Up 2: The Streets and the boy was hooked. Donghae smiled to himself before stretching slightly before standing in front of mirror.
He began to dance and Kibum felt his jaw hit the floor.
“Oh god…” Kibum muttered as he watched the older boy roll his hips and bounce along to the music.
Later that night, after a few hours of a different type of dancing Kibum pledged his eternal thanks to Timbaland and Justin Timberlake’s line…
‘Bounce… like your ass has the hiccups…’
3. Get Over You – Sophie Ellis-Bextor
Daesung smirked slightly as he saw Seunghyun enter the room. He thought he was in control of everything – thought he was on top. Daesung smirks fully when Seunghyun turned his back. Daesung had a plan. He was going to come out on top, not TOP…
These competitions were silly, he admitted that. Too bad Daesung was silly too and he wasn’t going to loose to his big, bulky hyung. He was going to beat him…
Later that night…
“Bloody hell, Daesung…” Seunghyun muttered rolling onto his back. “Did you have to be on top?” Daesung smirked as he jumped to his feet, victorious.
“Yes, I had to get over you!” Seunghyun rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah…” Seunghyun sighed. “Stupid dog-piles…” he muttered before sulking off in defeat after being topped by Daesung… in a dog-pile.
4. Freak On A Leash – KoЯn
Yunho wasn’t a big fan of Yoochun’s American rock bands and their music. It was loud, weird sounding and even if he spoke the language fluently, he doubted he could understand what they were saying. But there was one band he did like… or at least one of their songs. It made so much sense in this case…
“Chunnie, SLOW DOWN!” The other boy didn’t pay attention as he continued to drag Yunho by his hand through the crowds.
“Gotta… gotta… GOTTA!” Seeing Yoochun was muttering in English, Yunho didn’t have a clue what the boy was going on about. All he knew was that the band KoЯn got something right.
Yoochun was a bloody FREAK and he needed a damn LEASH…
5. Barbie Girl – Aqua
Yoochun didn’t know how he got himself into this mess. It was the last time he’d let the hyperactive, short dancer choose the song. Then again, at least there was a guy singing bit… he was luckier than Changmin when Jaejoong made him duet with ‘Ebony and Ivory’, some weird English song which even the English speakers didn’t fully understand.
Anyway, it was still a mess. Junsu had somehow managed to get him up and on the microphone next to him. Sure, he didn’t have to sing much, but Junsu wasn’t making taking his cues an easy task. Apart from singing the lyrics, he was dancing too – acting too cute to be natural. He swung his hips and pouted as he sung the lyrics to Barbie Girl.
The ways that boy can move his hips…
Yoochun needed a cold shower, STAT. He needed to cool down… but he had to sing now. Junsu smiled his goofy smile as Yoochun stuttered over the words and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Well, Yoochun kept telling himself that’s all it was. The song slowly ended and the attention turned to Yunho and Heechul as they took the stage together, laughing about something. Junsu grabbed the other man’s and dragged him away from the karaoke machine in excitement. As soon as they were out of view, Junsu threw himself onto him, gripping the boy in a tight hug. Without another second to waste, he rushed off to watch Yunho and Heechul make asses out of themselves as they sung Umbrella by Rihanna. Yoochun sighed.
He really needed that cold shower…
6. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM – Vengaboys
Yunho finally had a night off. Being CEO of one of the biggest firms in Korea meant hardly a moment break, but somehow he managed to swing a night off. And he needed a break. Within a minute of getting out of the office, he was on the phone calling his mates to meet him at the club down the road. He was going to have fun tonight…
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM…
The bass soon moved in sync with Yunho’s heart beat. He had just left the bar, leaving his friends to their drinks. As soon as Yoochun challenged Junsu to shots, Yunho knew he didn’t want to be there when someone won. He loved his friends to bits, but seeing them ravish each other in their pent up sexual frustration always managed to kill his mood.
So he left them to their drinking and made his way to the dance floor. Yunho was smirking as soon as he reached the floor. He saw so much skin, he felt like he was at the beach. But there was no sand here, but there was water…
Yunho locked eyes with him instantly. A small smile pulled at his lips as he kept swaying to the beat. His shirt clung to his sweaty body, shaping his figure as water dripped down his neck. Yunho broke eye contact for his eyes to roam over the body which was soon pressed against his own. His shirt was soon damp to as both men heated at each other’s touch.
They had never met before. They would probably never meet again. They only had now…
“Let’s have some fun…” Yunho whispered huskily into the other man’s ear, pulling him against him as he slowly made his way to the backdoor of the club. The other man grinned and lifted Yunho’s shirt slightly.
“I'll be your lover tonight…” Yunho smirked. He soon had the other man pinned against the wall of the ally and his hand slipping up his shirt, hitching the other’s breath. As much as Yunho wanted it there, he knew he couldn’t. He kept pulling the other along the ally, barely letting their skin part as he managed to get him into his apartment across the road.
“I want you in my room…” The other grinned…
“Boom boom boom boom…” Yunho grinned at the other man’s words as they lay nestled together on his bed.
“Jaejoong…” The other responded, tucking himself in closer to the other. Yunho greeted him welcomely. As they drifted off to sleep Yunho smiled.
‘Let's spend the night together…
Together in my room…’
7. If Only She Knew – Michelle Branch
Sometimes Heechul hated being so strong. He hated that he could resist every urge, every longing… him…
Sometimes Kibum hated being so strong. He hated that he could resist every urge, every longing… him…
But he resisted… for her…
He knew he owed her. He was married to her. He had kids with her. He had loved her.
Heechul knew he wouldn’t ever get to be with Kibum. He knew that he would never ask him to. He wouldn’t let him, either.
They loved each other. They both knew it. They both fought it.
If only she knew…
8. Nobody’s Fool – Avril Lavigne
Yesung smiled from Kibum’s arms. He was so happy it worked out. It hadn’t always looked bright… it had nearly ended barely hours ago…
“If you’re trying to turn me into someone else, it’s easy to see I’m not down with that…” Kibum didn’t say a word so Yesung spoke again.
“I'm for real, Kibum,” He didn’t speak again so Yesung started to back away.
“If that don't appeal to you, let me know and I'll go because I flow better when my colours show,” Again, he was met with silence. Yesung frowned as he turned to leave when a hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back. Lips came crashing to his, soft and passionate. After they parted to catch their breath, Kibum spoke.
“I know… You are nobody's fool,”
Yesung smiled again from Kibum’s arms. They had their entire future ahead of them now… And it was bright…
9. What Have You Done – Within Temptation
The battle between good and evil has raged for millenniums. Millions of lives have lost in the countless battles between the demons and the angels, servants to their respective gods. The battle continues to rage…
He refused to let the tears that threatened to fall out. He refused to stutter the words he had to speak. He refused to let his love get in the way.
He had to do this…
“Why… why does fate make us suffer?” He didn’t answer. He held the cold empty stare which he forced to his face. “Leeteuk?” He wasn’t fazed.
“You have turned into my worst enemy, Kangin… Everything I have been trained to destroy. You carry hate that I don't feel,” He gripped his weapon tighter. “It’s over now…”
“Leeteuk, I never wanted this…” He took a step closer to the ice cold angel in front of him. “… I love you…”
“There are some things you can’t change, Kangin…” The younger man stiffened at the elder’s words. “I won’t show mercy on you now,”
It had been like this since he returned home and saw the blood. He saw the mangled, bullet-ridden body. “What have you done?” He choked as he turned to Kangin who still held the gun in his hand. He didn’t answer – he couldn’t.
That was the end… their end…
“There's a curse between us… Between me and you,”
10. We Can Go Anywhere – Jesse McCartney
“I can’t take this…” Sungmin muttered looking across to his lover in the backseat of the car as they drove to yet another promotional event for their new album.
“What’s wrong?” Kyuhyun asked reaching to hold Sungmin’s hand.
“This!” Sungmin made an extravagant gesture with his other hand, hitting the car roof in the motion. Yesung flashed him a warning look from the seat in front and quickly returned his eyes to the road. Sungmin stuck his tongue out and slumped back on the chair. “I’m tired, stressed and…” Sungmin sighed. “Kyu…” he whined silently as he slumped back into the chair and disappeared into his semi-consciousness which he goes to when he’s too tired to remain awake but isn't allowed to sleep. Kyuhyun squeezed his hand and looked to Ryeowook who was in front of him.
“I have a plan… do you think you can cover for us with manager-hyung?”
“For how long?” Kyuhyun looked to his beat boyfriend.
“A few hours, maybe more?” Ryeowook looked slightly worried but nodded anyway.
“If anyone calls you, you have the flu,” Yesung joked pulling over when Kyuhyun pointed. Kyuhyun pulled the still out-of-it Sungmin with him and walked to the train station.
“Thanks!” He called out to his hyungs before leading the zombie like Sungmin towards the booth.
“Two to the coast, thanks.”
* * *
“This doesn’t look like a TV interview…” Sungmin muttered when he finally came to consciousness. Kyuhyun smiled to him and pulled him into a tight hug.
“You said you couldn’t take it, so I took you away from it!” Kyuhyun smiled proudly down at his hyung. Sungmin just looked at Kyuhyun with a blank face. Kyuhyun’s smile faltered.
“W-what? Did… did you not want to get away?” Sungmin continued to stare at him with a blank face. “I… I didn’t kn-” Kyuhyun was cut off when Sungmin pounced on him, sending them both sprawling on the sand. Sungmin pinned Kyuhyun to the ground with the biggest grin on his face.
“I love you Kyu,” Kyuhyun smiled and Sungmin leaned closer.
“I love you too, Minnie…” He breathed before their lips met.
Title: Mother’s Day [Oneshot]
Pairing: SuperJunior+M/Leeteuk, minor Henwook Kihae ShiHanChul KyuZhouMin Kangteuk Yehyuk
Summary: With Mother’s Day coming up, it raises some questions for the youngest Super Junior member. Henry doesn’t understand why Super Junior considers Leeteuk their umma and asks his hyungs.
Leeteuk rolled over, slowly waking from the blur of sleep. He stretched in his small single bed and flung his legs over the edge. When his head stopped spinning from moving too fast, he glanced at his clock. His heart skipped a beat before it tripled as he flung himself from his bed.
His alarm didn’t go off and he was late. He was very late.
Leeteuk raced out of his room and into the kitchen. Usually swarming with members, especially at lunch time (Yes, Leeteuk slept in until lunchtime – he isn’t proud of it), the kitchen was bare. Leeteuk raced into the living room which usually had at least one member who had a break in their schedule and wasted the time in front of the TV. After one step through the door, he froze. He gaped. He slowly formed words.
“Oh… my… god…”
* * *
“Kibummie…” Kibum looked up from his laptop as Henry called his name. It was a rare time that the Super Junior M members were staying with them, and this was one of them. The youngest was standing in his doorway with a troubled expression on his face.
“What is it, Henry?” Kibum closed the top of his laptop and motioned for Henry to come sit on his bed in front of him. He moved into the room and plopped in front of Kibum with a pout pulling at his lips. “What’s wrong?”
“I…” Henry frowned again. “I don’t understand something.” Kibum nodded for him to continue. “Why do you call Leeteuk umma?”
“Because he’s our umma,” Henry frowned again.
“How?” This time Kibum frowned in thought.
“Ah… because he is?” Henry pouted again while Kibum shrugged. “I don’t know – he has always been umma to us. Why do you ask?”
“I was thinking about tomorrow…” Kibum raised an eyebrow. “Mother’s Day?”
“Oh… that’s tomorrow? Remind me to call my mother tomorrow…” Henry sighed in frustration.
“But I don’t understand!” Henry whined and fell back on the bed in irritation.
“What do you want to understand, then?”
“I want to understand why you consider him your umma,” Kibum thought for a moment before calling out.
“GUYS! Can everyone get in here?” Very slowly the five others who were in their dorm formed. Seeing Super Junior M only recently came back from China and Kibum only just came back from visiting his family in America, they had been given a dorm together. The other seven members where in the other dorm, along with the umma in question.
“Henry doesn’t understand why Leeteuk is our umma,” Kibum explained as everyone settled in. Donghae joined them on the bed, throwing his arm around Kibum while Ryeowook came to sit at the floor at Henry’s feet. The other four sat on the other bed.
“What do you mean?”
“Why do we consider Leeteuk our umma?” Kibum rose to topic for discussion.
“He’s our umma because…” Donghae paused to think. The others piped up while he thought about it.
“He looks after us,” Ryeowook said.
“He makes us strong,” Han said.
“He solves our problems,” Kyuhyun said.
“He makes you feel welcome,” Zhoumi said.
“He protects us from corruption,” Siwon said.
“He keeps us sane,” Kibum said.
“He makes us a family!” Donghae exclaimed. A smile grew on Henry’s face.
“You know what we should do?” He asked them, the smile growing every passing moment.
“Surprise Mother’s Day party!”
* * *
“I can’t believe you guys did this!” Leeteuk was sobbing from happiness. His babies, all fourteen of them, had managed to organize a party and throw it in his honour. Han had cooked, with the help of Ryeowook while Heechul and Sungmin with their designer skills had revamped the entire living room into a party masterpiece. Everyone else had gone to incredible lengths to make sure Leeteuk enjoyed his day. The night before, Kangin made sure he was dead tired so he slept in (Kangin wasn’t willing to tell anyone how he did that but Heechul was enjoying the ideas he was coming up with). Eunhyuk made sure his alarm didn’t go off. Yesung made sure that no one disturbed him. Shindong talked to their manager and got the day off for them all.
Leeteuk looked around at his babies in pride. Kibum had Donghae on his lap with his arms around his waist while Donghae talked to Eunhyuk who was in a similar position on Yesung’s lap. Siwon was praising the ‘Chinese umma’ while Heechul was just showing his praise to him (even though he didn’t deem Han his umma in any way – apparently he found that to be a turn off) physically which Siwon soon joined. Kyuhyun was currently subject to tug-of-war between Sungmin, who wanted cake, and Zhoumi, who wanted to change the music. Kyuhyun just smiled as his two lovers and let them whine in protest to his noncompliance. Henry was sitting with Ryeowook who was holding the youngest against his chest as Henry smiled at the umma from across the room. Leeteuk smiled back and sighed.
“What’s wrong?” Arms wound around Leeteuk’s waist as Kangin rested his head on the umma’s shoulders. Leeteuk turned to look at his younger lover with admiration.
“Absolutely nothing at all.” Leeteuk hugged the arms around his waist tighter and least back into the warmth of Kangin’s broad shoulders. “Everything is perfect.”
“Happy Mother’s day, my love…” Kangin whispered into his ear before kissing his head.
Leeteuk smiled. This indeed was a very happy Umma’s Day…
Title: How To Become Crazy in the Bus [Oneshot]
Rating: G, total fluff
Summary: Heechul is going crazy… on a bus… 120 words of Kichul goodness =]
Now, I know you are asking: How do you become crazy just by being on a bus? Well, it’s simple really.
Be in a bus with 12 other 20+ year old men for more than two minutes.
That’s all it took to make Heechul want to smash his brains out with a spork. Yes, a spork. Heechul has gone THAT crazy.
“Kibummie…” He whined resting his head on the younger boy’s shoulder. Kibum smiled slightly and ran his hand through Heechul hair before leaving it slung over his shoulder, pulling him closer. Heechul couldn’t help but smile. At least with Kibum here, he could last those two minutes.
The other 28 minutes of the trip were a whole other story…
Title: Please Wake Up [Oneshot]
Pairing: Kanghyuk (friendship), Kangteuk (not friendship :P)
Summary: Eunhyuk’s pleas to his hyung to wake up.
“You don’t even realise how much you mean, do you? You don’t know how important you are. You don’t know…
“Remember when we first debuted? We were all so excited – we were going to be famous! But you weren’t hyper like us. You kept us grounded so we didn’t loose ourselves in the industry. Because of you, we are still going strong. Because of you, we are all here today. Because of you, I’m here and I’m strong…
“I remember the car crash. Everyone was so scared. Teukie-umma and Kyuhyun-magnae were still in surgery. Shindong was awake – he was okay. You were there when I woke up, sitting right next to me while the others hung back at the doorway. I saw the pain and worry on their faces and it terrified me because I knew. I knew it wasn’t for me.
‘Where’s umma? Where’s Kyuhyunnie?’
“I knew there was something wrong when Sungmin broke down into sobs, clinging to Ryeowook for support. I began to panic, but you stopped me. You kept everyone calm. I can still remember your words.
‘They are still in surgery. They are hurt badly, Hyuk. Kyuhyun was pinned by the car. Umma got cut by glass.’
“I started sobbing then, but I’m glad you told me. I’m thankful you told me the truth.
‘But they’ll be fine. We’ll all be fine. We’re Super Junior, right? 13 forever, no matter what.’
“Your words seemed so weak then. I didn’t even pay attention to them, but I knew you were right. You’re always right. You kept us together and strong. We only made it through those months because of you. Even though you were panicked, terrified, for you Teukie, you kept us strong.
“Remember one time after Kiss The Radio when you came to pick me and Leeteuk-umma up? It was after my fight with Donghae. When Leeteuk went to get his stuff, we talked about it. You said we shouldn’t let the stupid little fight ruin our friendship.
‘But he called me a monkey!’
‘You called him a fish,’
‘AFTER he called me a monkey!’
‘What’s wrong with being a monkey? It’s got to be better than being a raccoon…’
“You were right, naturally. It was stupid and being a raccoon is a lot worse. Thanks to you I still have my best friend.
“You were always there for me. Even when I didn’t notive it, you were always backing me up, cheering me on and keeping me grounded. You are always there… just like last week…
“Stupid elevator… stupid wire…
“I can’t believe you did that, you know. I am sitting here without a scratch on me thanks to you. You saved my life… and it might have cost you yours.
“When the lights flickered off and the elevator shook and tilted, swaying on a thread, I couldn’t think. I froze. I was scared stiff. But you weren’t. Yes, you were scared – anyone with half a brain would be – but you didn’t freeze up. You went to the door and managed to wedge it open just enough to see out. You could see the floor below us, filled with emergency workers already. You saw Leeteuk calling out to us, smiling when he saw your face. You didn’t smile back though. It was like you already knew…
“There was a screech from above us and the elevator dropped about two metres before it caught on something. I was dazed, tossed across the floor when you hauled me to my feet. I was out the tiny gap you held open and into up into the arms of the emergency workers almost instantly. Then an instant later, the elevator dropped.
“You fell over 10 floors before the elevator caught again. The last two floors were a violent drop after that. The way the elevator shook… I can’t imagine what it was like for you. Were you awake for it? I saw your face just before it fell. You knew, didn’t you? You knew you wouldn’t make it out of the elevator…
“I screamed the entire time you fell. I didn’t stop screaming until Leeteuk grabbed me. I have scars on my arms from where his nails broke my skin. He has some too. We clung to each other so tightly; I’m amazed the emergency workers managed to pry us apart. I was so sure we’d be stuck that way.
“Neither of us has left your side since, you know? He’s asleep right now – he passed out on the couch. He’s having nightmares again. He’ll be crying out your name again soon and I’ll go and wake him up and hold him as he sobs. He’s barely eating – he’s so worried. He needs you, he needs his aein…
“We need you Kangin. We need you so much. You’re our strength. You’re our protector. We thought you were indestructible, hyung. Wake up and prove us right! You need to wake up!
“I love you. We love you.
“We need you. I need you.
“Please wake up Kangin… Please…”
“All you had to do was ask nicely, you monkey…”
A/N: If you were wondering, that line means Kangin woke up. Yes, I couldn’t help but give it a happy ending… I think 0rgasmic_kangin and i_am_air might have killed me if I made Kangin die… *sigh*
Anyway, this is tributed to 0rgasmic_kangin coz she’s awesome and has kept me sane during exams and holidays (equally brain frying). Saranghaeyo!!! <3
Title: I’d Follow You Anywhere [Oneshot]
Rating: M? Its kind of intence
Summary: It hurt that I had to tell him that, to break his spirit, but Hankyung was hell bent on me doing it. In some way I knew he thought it would help us both. And in some way, I knew he was wrong.
I’d Follow You Anywhere…
“KYUHYUN!” The cry leaves my mouth too late. The crowd control spur to life too slowly and fail to stop her. I barely saw what she looked like, or what she did but it didn’t matter. He was hit and I needed to get to him.
I pushed past the other members, fighting to get to his side. They didn’t seem to know what happened, either moving together or into the building. They were fleeing from the danger, while I was running back into it. I wasn’t about to leave him behind.
Screams sound from the crowd in panic and… no it can’t be… CHEERS?! They are encouraging the attack! If I wasn’t in a hurry to reach him, they’d be lucky to leave here with all their teeth.
“Kyuhyun…” I breathe as I finally reach him. He can barely keep his eyes open but he spots me and grins slightly.
“Hey-” He barely says one word before his face distorts with pain. My heart wrenches and I can barely breathe through my fury. I shook my head, shaking my priorities into order. Save Kyuhyun now, revenge later.
“I’ve got to get you inside,” I mutter hauling him to his feet. With him slung over one shoulder, I dragged him towards the building. Other members crowded around us to protect him but they were a blur to me. All that mattered was getting Kyuhyun inside; to safety.
“What happened?” Hankyung asked as he met us at the door.
“I don’t know… something hit-… he’s hurt,” I could barely speak straight; everything seemed to be going to fast. One minute I glanced over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of his smile as he greeted the fans, the next he was on the ground in pain.
“Okay, get him to the lobby,” Hankyung ushered the others away as I held Kyuhyun up and settled him gently into the couch. He looked up at me with a small grin, grimacing slightly in pain.
“Where are you hit?” I ask sitting behind him to support his head with my lap. He motioned to his chest. I leaned over him and pulled up his shirt. I swore under my breath when I spotted the swollen and dark bruise which had already formed. The fair skin surrounding the injury has pink from irritation.
“Is he alright?” Hankyung asked from the door. I shrugged and ran my hands through his hair. “What was he hit with?”
“I didn’t see, but it didn’t break the skin,”
“It doesn’t rule out internal injuries,” Hankyung muttered and took out his mobile. “I’ll call an ambulance,”
“Thanks…” I muttered and watched Kyuhyun’s strained breathing. I fought back the tears which formed and stayed strong for him. I wasn’t going to let my emotions show now after fighting them back for months. I would never live with myself if my feelings affected the group.
“Sungmin?” I jumped slightly as someone spoke my name. I glanced down to Kyuhyun with a small grin.
“I’m here, Kyuhyun,” He smiled and brought up a hand to hold mine. Our fingers entwined and he relaxed slightly. “I’m not leaving you,” His eyes strained to reach mine and glistened with pain but the smile never left his face. He snuggled into my lap and focused on steadying his breath. My skipped a beat as he smiled wider as I spoke, “I’m always with you…”
I hate to admit it but I lost my mind a little more to see Kyuhyun in hospital again. If the car accident wasn’t enough to make me hate this place, this was. I felt myself shaking in fear as I approached his room. It was a good thing I came alone because I couldn’t control my fear now. The others would have noticed it and understood too soon. They can never know…
They can never know how much he means to me.
“Sungmin right?” A nurse asked as I approached. I nodded shyly and kept my eyes downcast. “He’s asked for you,” I again failed to cover my emotions. My grin and sudden excitement made me receive a weird look from the nurse.
“Can I see him?”
“Of course,” She said and motioned into the room. I watched her leave before slowly approaching the door. I steadied my breath to prepare for the sight. My heart raced and I panicked. I had never risked this much but I had to.
I had to see him.
I couldn’t assure myself that seeing Kyuhyun in a hospital bed wouldn’t send me over the edge but I entered the room nevertheless.
“Hey,” He said in a sultry tone which made my skin crawl. He was obviously tired but he grinned as I entered. I choked on my words as I went to respond. He raised an eyebrow. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I just-” I took a deep breath and continued. “You scared me, Kyu…”
“I’m sorry Minnie, I won’t do it again,” He joked before leaning back.
“Are you alright?” I asked moving towards him.
“Yeah, there’s no bleeding. Just a hell of a lot of bruising…”
“That’s good,” I sigh and settle onto the end of his bed in relief.
“Oh and a broken rib,”
“WHAT?!” I blurt out in shock. Kyuhyun laughs and grins at me.
“You worry too much, hyung. I’m fine,” I smile weakly and watch him. He stares back and tries to smile but the lie seemed to hurt him more than his injuries. It hurt me too, wondering why he was lying to me. He saw the look in my eyes, the millions of questions which burned me inside. He sighed.
“I can’t take much more of this,” He admitted. I placed one hand on his leg for comfort.
“More of what?”
“That,” He pointed to the bin and the area surrounding it, littered with letters. I rose and picked the ones that missed the bin up, glancing at the titles. I frowned and doubled checked I had read it write.
“Who sent these?” I asked without bothering to mask my anger.
“Who knows? Who cares? They all say the same thing,”
“‘Super Junior was only SUPER when there were 12’…” I muttered reading the top one. “Stupid anti-fans…” I shoved them into the bin and turned back to Kyuhyun. Tears brimmed in his eyes and my heart wrenched.
“Sungmin-” Kyuhyun started but I interrupted him.
“No Kyuhyun,” I stated clearly placing a hand on his shoulder. “Ignore them,” I wiped the tears from his eyes and kissed his forehead. “Super Junior wasn’t SUPER until YOU joined,” He smiled slightly and rested against my shoulder as I wrapped my arm around him, resting on the edge of the bed.
I held him against me and all my anger faded into the background. It wasn’t important right now, holding him was. My love for him kept me sane until the nurse returned to tell me visiting hours were over. I kissed his forehead once more before leaving, my anger now boiling inside. If the anti-fans thought I would stand for this, they were in for a surprise.
Well that sucks…
My almighty plan to get revenge was crushed when Hankyung forbid us from leaving the apartment. It soon became like the ‘rainy day’ routine. Donghae and Eunhyuk were climbing the walls, Heechul and Kibum decided to watch a movie and Siwon helped Hankyung cook continuously, making whatever he could think of. Usually Kyuhyun would go sit at the window and watch the sky with his headphones in. I would sit on the couch pretending to read while watching his subtle changes in his expression, guessing the songs he played. A tiny grin meant he was listening to SuJu T or Happy, when he started tapping his foot he was listening to Big Bang or Battle, when he quickly changed the song I knew a K.R.Y song came on and so on. He was so modest about singing them, he felt embarrassed when we listening to them, complementing them on their singing.
But today he wasn’t there so I watched the movie with Heechul and Kibum. They put on A Tale of Two Sisters, Heechul’s favourite when he was in a horror mood. I usually walked out before the ghosts start appearing but today I just stared at the movie with blanks eyes. The movie didn’t faze me, it barely registered.
“Sungmin?” I jumped slightly when I woke from my daze. Hankyung was squatting in front of me with flour on his face and a plate of cookies. I smiled weakly and took one despite my stomach’s inability to keep food down when I’m worried.
“Thanks,” I mutter as I forced the cookie into my mouth and chewed.
“Are you alright, Minnie?” I nodded without blinking and swallowed. The couch beside me moved and an arm wrapped around my shoulders. I glanced up to Hankyung. “He’ll be alright,”
“I know,” I respond and leaned against his chest.
“But it doesn’t make you worry less, right?” Hankyung muttered in understanding. He didn’t need an answer, and I didn’t give it. I sunk into his shoulder and didn’t return until Eunhyuk decided to bring Hankyung’s attention to certain fan-mail. Despite his worried looks at me and attempts at sign language, Hankyung told him to read them out loud.
Jeez, was that a mistake…
I could see the hurt on his face and it killed me. The others had left me alone to talk to him with some ridiculous hope that I was the only one who could keep him calm. I could barely keep myself breathing so their hopes where lost.
“When did this arrive?” He croaked, his voice breaking from the tears forming.
“Yesterday,” I muttered with my eyes downcast.
“Oh,” I heard the note crinkling and knew he was angry.
He wasn’t alone, not by a long shot.
What kind of welcome home was this? ‘Hey, it’s awesome you’re out of hospital. Oh, by the way, you got a few death threats while you were being treated from the attack.’ It hurt that I had to tell him that, to break his spirit, but Hankyung was hell bent on me doing it.
In some way I knew he thought it would help us both.
And in some way, I knew he was wrong.
“That decides it,” He declares and storms off to his room. The shock of his reaction slowly faded and I moved after him. A choked cry escaped my lips when I understood his plan.
He was leaving…
“Wha-” My breaths shortened in panic. My chest began to hurt from the straining beating of my heart. “Don’t,” I stated as I finally gained control over my body again. He glanced up from his rushed packing without any doubt in his gaze.
“I will not stay and put you guys in danger, even if they aren’t serious. I can’t take it anymore,”
“What do you mean? It’s only a few letters!” Kyuhyun looked away guiltily and I understood.
“Ever since I joined,” He responded as he continued.
“How many?” He absent-mindedly motioned to his desk. I searched the drawers but found nothing.
“The box,” He muttered from the doorway. I took one look at the box and swore. I saw the overflowing hate mail from the box which barely fit under the desk due to its size. I turned to him, looked at the suitcase in his hand as he stood at the door, and I let the tears fall. He looked into my eyes and I saw a pang of guilt. He shook his head and left his room. I didn’t take any time to race after him.
“Don’t Sungmin,” He said before I opened my mouth. “I have to go,”
“Then I’ll go with you! Give me a minute and I’ll pack-”
“No,” My heart stopped longer than it should and I began to feel dizzy. It finally started again so my head cleared to hear the rest. “You belong here – you’re happy…”
“I won’t be happy once you’re gone,” I countered and moved towards him.
“Minnie…” He sighed deeply and reached for the doorknob.
“I’d follow you anywhere, Kyuhyun,” I muttered, pausing in wait for his dark eyes to find mine. Slowly they turned from the doorknob and met mine.
“You would?” I smiled weakly.
“Of course,” I stepped towards him with a plea on my face. “But, please, don’t make me follow you out that door. Don’t make me walk away from all the good stuff we have here, all our friends…”
“Wait,” I stopped him before he interrupted me. “Please just listen,” If I stopped now I wouldn’t have the strength to continue and I needed to say this. Kyuhyun nodded solemnly. I felt his gaze but concentrated on the floor. I could not back out now. Everything depended on it.
“Before we go, answer me something…” I looked up into his eyes with tears swimming in mine. “Can the bad seriously outweigh the good? Can everything that’s happened outweigh all the fun we’ve had together?”
“Yeah, it does!” Kyuhyun snapped back, tired of repeating himself. I felt my heart break and I dropped my head.
“Does it outweigh me?” Kyuhyun stuttered trying to find the words. “Am I not enough to stay for?” I waited for an answer I knew I wouldn’t receive. The silence killed me; I felt it eating away at what was left of me. I heard footsteps followed by a door opening. I slowly raised my head in disbelief.
“Kyuhyun…” I muttered and watched the closed door he left through. I watched the still door in disbelief. Turning away from the door, I moved towards my room. The others were in the backroom, I could hear them talking. As I crossed the doorway Hankyung spotted me. He started to grin sympathetically until he saw the look on my face. He jumped to his feet and tried to get to me in time but was too late. I had already locked the door by the time he reached it.
I cried out in pain as something in my chest tore. I felt the physical pain of my heart breaking and sunk to the floor. The door vibrated from the desperate cries from the others as they yelled out to me. I could barely hear them over my heavy breathing. I squinted through my burning eyes and spotted my desk, cluttered with photos of HIM. I hauled myself to my feet and shoved them off the edge, sending them crashing to the ground.
“SUNGMIN!” Their muffled cries barely registered as I spotted more photos. I bellowed in rage and they met the same fate as the others. The painting hanging on my wall met the ground; the memory of us hanging it together tarnished it. I couldn’t stop after that, I was on a roll. Everything that remotely reminded me of HIM or just got in my way was thrown across the room in a flurry of rage. Minutes passed and nothing was left in its original state. Everything was destroyed in an attempt to display the state of my mind.
“Kick the door down!” I heard someone bark through the door. I glanced to the hinges and knew if someone kicked hard enough it would break. In my state I was in no way to face the others. My eyes scanned for an escape and they found it – the only way out of the room – the window. Examining the drop I hesitated, thinking to myself to slim chances I’d survive the fall. I began to chicken out until I saw him at the end of the ally, illuminated in the street light. He looked so beautiful and I knew it was worth the drop. The first problem was the window – glass. I grabbed the bedside table and swung.
“SUNGMIN!” Hankyung bellowed as the glass shattered. The banging on the door ceased and I knew they were close to getting through. I counted to three before throwing myself out of the two storey window and plummeted.
“Oww…” I muttered rolling over. I landed on trashcans, somewhat cushioning the fall. Somewhat… “Kyuhyun,” I muttered his name to voice my motivation to rise to my feet. Pain erupted from the left leg and I found I couldn’t walk on it. Damn, it was broken. I shrugged it off as a minor set back and struggled along the ally. What should have been a 10 second walk turned into a 2 minute stagger. The wall managed to keep me upright despite the ground’s attempts to trip me. I got within a metre of him when the cab turned up. As he hurriedly through his suitcases in the cab, I stumbled out of the ally. I reached to grab him back but Kyuhyun had heard me. He sidestepped my grip and refused to look at me. All the pain of my injuries suddenly seemed minor next to the searing pain that caused.
“No Sungmin,” His eyes wouldn’t meet mine as he stepped into the cab. “Go home,”
“Goodbye Sungmin,” He called as the cab pulled out. I watched it flee through the green light and easy traffic and cursed everyone who wasn’t on the road. Maybe traffic would have given me one more chance…
I stumbled back into the ally, finding a wall and sliding to the door. I ignored my body’s reaction to the drop and stared aimlessly at the filthy floor.
I choked up in despair. Shattered glass stung my legs but I ignored the pain. It barely compared to the torture I felt inside.
He had walked away again.
I let out an agonized scream of his name but he was long gone. His warm smile would never shine on me again. I was left out in the cold, just watching the wind blow the lifeless litter along the ally.
I guess I must have fallen asleep… but I don’t remember waking up…
It didn’t matter anyway; the only thing that mattered was he was gone.
He left me here…
----- ----- -----
So many useless treasures with no significance littering the stone rock making his place… It seemed redundant. So many people came, so few knew him. The congregation just flocked with impassive crowds, gathering for a glance at the others. One down didn’t matter to them, there were 12 remaining. His death didn’t affect the fans…
But it killed the members.
The progression line passed his simple grave stone in silence. One stood apart from the 12, hanging in the shadows. He stared at the small photo memory and felt his insides slowly decay. Another spotted him and moved away from the group to place a hand on his shoulder.
“Hankyung…” A choke came from the guilt ridden Kyuhyun as he tried to speak.
“It’s not your fault,” Hankyung responded automatically and Kyuhyun caught the forced tone.
“Yes, it is.”
“No-” Hankyung tried to speak but he was cut off.
“I should’ve stayed… How could I leave him like that? HOW?!” Kyuhyun turned and barked at Hankyung, shaking from the tears. Hankyung’s hand fell from his shoulder and he walked away, unable to make the words which would help.
No words he could say would help. No words anyone could say would help. No one could console Kyuhyun now and save him from the guilt.
Only his Minnie could comfort him at times like this…
The only one who couldn’t help anymore…
He was 6 feet under.
Title: Don't Jump [Oneshot]
Pairing: Hanwon (Hankyung + Siwon)
Fandom: Super Junior
Rating: M? Character death
Summary: He knew now how he felt… He knew now how he needed him… He knew now how he was too late...
Song: Don't Jump by Tokio Hotel
The water seemed so serene from this height. Speckled light danced across the darkness, reflections of the city lights. Shimmers reflect against the walls of the house. A chill breeze wafted over the calm water, reaching the coast with a scent of salt. The serene water showed nothing of the dangers beneath the calm surface.
Totally at peace… tranquil.
He admired the sight as he choked on tears.
“Han…” He muttered again and let a tear roll down his cheek. His whispers carried on the wind, never reaching the ears of their intended…
On top of the roof
The air is so cold and so calm
I say your name in silence
You don't wanna hear it right now
“Where is he?” Hankyung asked his fellow Super Junior M members, glancing around the room. Zhou Mi and Henry sat on the couch consumed in their own conversation, barely shrugging in response. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook glanced around half heartedly and shrugged too before walking into the kitchen. Donghae didn’t respond at all; he was asleep on the floor, barely making it in the door before dropping in exhaustion.
“Thanks guys…” Hankyung muttered and walked out onto the front porch. He glanced around for the elusive seventh member.
“Where are you…?” He looked up at the sky and sighed.
He needed to find him and tell him before he lost his nerve. The courage was hard enough to come by; retaining it was even more difficult. His head dropped and he stepped down the stairs and wandered towards the cliff side.
“I have your answer now…”
The eyes of the city
Are counting the tears falling down
Each one a promise
Of everything you never found
Hankyung stepped along the rocky edge, retreating into his mind. His thoughts tore at his insides; he felt so stupid. Throwing himself of the edge seemed like justice for his weakness. It killed Hankyung inside to cause him any pain and he had to make amends.
He had to tell the truth…
He made the mistake of chickening out before; he would rather die than do it again.
A cold breeze woke Hankyung from his daze. He shook his head and began to walk back to the house. His gaze rose from the ground to the house. The lights had begun to go out, the moonlight barely lighting his way back. His gaze rose again, this time to a dark shape on the roof. Scarcely visible, a silhouette moved against the darkness. The realisation hit simultaneously with Hankyung sprinting back to the house bellowing out to the missing member, currently balancing on the roof hanging dangerously above the edge.
I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
Don't let memories go
Of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump
Donghae woke with a start. Someone just yelled and he instinctively responded with, “It wasn’t me!” He glanced around to find the living room deserted and dark. Zhou Mi and Henry stirred from their sleep on the couch, responding to the shout too. They glanced around wearily and went to shrug when they heard the shout again.
“SIWON!” Donghae leapt to his feet. The fear in Hankyung’s voice was enough to wake him up. Ryeowook came running in from his bedroom followed by Kyuhyun and looked around in confusion.
“HAN?!” Donghae yelled out, trying to find him. When no answer came he bolted out the door.
“Where is he?” Ryeowook asked as he followed. Donghae shrugged and ran off the porch.
“HAN?!” Donghae bellowed again, in desperation. When no response came he turned to Ryeowook. He was about to speak when movement above Ryeowook’s head caught his attention.
You open your eyes
But you can't remember what for
The snow falls quietly
You just can't feel it no more
Somewhere out there
You lost yourself in your pain
You dream of the end
To start all over again
“SIWON!” Hankyung gasped as he hauled himself onto the roof. Siwon’s large frame didn’t respond, just remained swaying in the wind on the guttering. Hankyung took careful steps towards him, reaching out to him.
“Stop.” Hankyung froze. Siwon’s head turned slightly so Hankyung could see the tear stained cheeks and heartbreaking expression on his face.
“Siwon-” Hankyung was interrupted by Donghae’s yells from below. He ignored them and continued. “Please…”
“It’s too late.” Siwon muttered turning back to the edge.
I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
Don't let memories go
Of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump
“Siwon please,” Hankyung pleaded placing a hand on his shoulder. He felt him shiver from the touch but didn’t move. Hankyung glanced warily over the edge, spotting the jagged rocks and rough surf below. His heart rate doubled and panic sounded in his voice.
“Come on, Siwon. Can we talk?”
“We talked,” Siwon muttered.
“No you talked, I stuttered and walked away like an idiot,” Hankyung admitted and tried to pull Siwon to face him. After his attempts failed he moved beside him and turned his head with his hand. The brown eyes which usually sparkled were dull and misted with tears. It wrenched at Hankyung’s heart.
“There is nothing you can say,” Siwon muttered.
“I can tell you my answer, because now I know. I do! I really do…” Their eyes met. Siwon’s expression didn’t change. Hankyung’s heart missed a beat.
He knew now how he felt.
He knew now how he needed him.
He knew now how he was too late…
I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
“Han!” Hankyung glanced back over the roof to find Donghae hauling himself up. He held up a hand to hold him back. Donghae hesitated but obeyed, turning to help others up.
“Don’t let it end like this,” Hankyung demanded and tightened his grip on Siwon’s shoulder.
“This isn't the end, it’s a new beginning,” Siwon muttered and leaned further over the edge. Hankyung looked over the water suddenly understanding. This wasn’t Siwon’s final act; this was his attempt to start again. He shook his head, refusing to let it happen and glanced back to the damp eyes.
“Siwon…” He muttered as he accepted defeat. With a deep breath he manoeuvred a foot in between Siwon’s and swung in front of him. The only thing holding him up was his hand on Siwon’s shoulder and the one on his face.
Don't let memories go
Of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump
Siwon stiffened. He refused to budge. Hankyung leaned against his shoulder and whispered 12 words into his ear. Siwon blinked and looked to his elder in confusion. Realisation dawned but his movements were too slow.
“Siwon, this is for you.” Hankyung muttered before using all his strength to push Siwon away from the edge. The force made Siwon stumbled backwards but pushed Hankyung backwards too.
Someone shouted his name.
He couldn’t figure out who cried out.
Siwon was in shock.
A painful cry sounded from Siwon’s throat as Hankyung fell. Siwon fought against his friends, fighting to get to the edge, crying out in vain. The splash of impact reached his ears as he replayed Hankyung’s final words in his head:
“And if all that can't hold you back
I'll jump for you…”
Title: This Love [Oneshot]
Fandom: Super Junior
Rating: PG - nothing too extreme
Summary: I never thought it would hurt this much. I knew it would hurt, but this isn’t pain…it feels like death… When I’m not with him, I’m dead…
Song: This Love by the Veronicas
I cling to the bed sheets, holding in the tears. My head is cast down, staring at the floor with misty eyes. They want so much to cry but I let none fall. I shake slightly; tremors of sadness…
I hated leaving. Even if it only for a month.
“Only a month,” He said to me, “Just a month until we are together again.”
I feel so weak. I can’t even last a month without him. It has only been a week, but it feels like a lifetime. I need to be with him, see him, feel him, hear him…
His voice echoes in my mind, rebounding off the hollowed walls of my chest. I need to hear it, for it to fill up the hollowness inside.
I can see it in your eyes
Taste it in our first kiss
Stranger in this lonely town
Save me from my emptiness
It started so strangely, with a dare on a talk show. A fan asked for it, so we did. Whoever that was, I thank them so much. The kiss plagued my mind for weeks until it finally happened again, this time at our request.
It was all so simple back then. Everything seemed to just fall into place. Nothing was planned; we just went with the flow. The sneak glances, the secret meetings, the silent longing. It all felt right.
You took my hand
You told me it would be ok
I trusted you to hold my heart
Now fate is pulling me away, from you
I never knew how it felt to be happy, to be complete… to love. I loved everything about him, his deep thoughtful eyes, his cheeky smile, the way he laughed, the way he held me, the long nights, his bed-hair… I loved all of him.
I was on a high. Once I finally was able to tell him, I have never come down. Not until now, not until the tour pulled me away.
When I left, we couldn’t say goodbye. Not the way we wanted to. Not the way we should of. A simple wave as we boarded the slight wasn’t enough. It was diluted, so weak compared to the intense longing I hold for him…
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I’m not around
I won’t give in
I can’t give up
On this love
Leeteuk is calling for me at my door. I cringe and feel sick but hide it. I can’t tell them why I don’t want to go, so I lie.
“I can’t wait!” The lie had burned when I spoke it earlier. The others don’t know about us, we couldn’t tell them. They wouldn’t understand, they’d treat us differently. We aren’t different from what we used to be, we are just in love. If they knew they wouldn’t be forcing me on this…
You’ve become a piece of me
Makes me sick to even think
Of mornings waking up alone
Searching for you in my sheets
Don’t fade away
“Come on!” Eunhyuk beats at the door impatiently. I don’t move from the bed. I couldn’t move from the bed, knowing what was coming.
“Heechul!” Kangin bellowed through the door, snapping me from my daze. I glanced to the door, barely visible in the darkness. “Hurry up!”
“Coming,” I call back in a strained voice. I can’t keep them waiting any longer, they will get suspicious.
One night and this ridiculous torture will be over…
I grab a jacket and open the door. They all grin at me, thinking they are great friends in setting this up. They have no idea how much I hate this. They will never know how this will kill me even more.
Maybe if they did, this stupid date wouldn’t happen…
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I’m not around
I won’t give in
I can’t give up
On this love
“Heechul, meet Ae-cha,” I force a grin and look to the woman which I am supposed to drool over. If it wasn’t for him, I would be drooling. She was stunning. Long black hair, dark eyes, fair skin… she was beautiful.
And that killed me just that little bit more.
“Hi Heechul,” She says sweetly, a clear voice which sent a shiver up my spine.
“Hi,” I muttered back not looking at her. I couldn’t look at her, it made me sick. I found her attractive. For the first time since I fell in love, I had feelings for someone else.
It killed me even more inside…
The others left us alone. Silence. I couldn’t speak, I was numb. She took a step towards me. I stepped away.
“Heechul?” She asked. I could hear she was agitated. I bet she was angry because I wasn’t commenting on her obvious beauty. She looked like one of those girls.
I couldn’t face her anymore. I turned and walked away. She called out after me but I ignored it. Shindong rose from his seat as I passed but didn’t reach me in time before I slipped outside and disappeared into the night…
I can’t just close the door
On this love
I never felt anything like this before
Like this love
Tell me the truth no matter what we’re going through
Will you hold on too ‘cause
Walking alone along these streets finally gave me time to think. Of course my phone is ringing in my pocket, obviously my anxious friends trying to find me. I resisted the urge to answer it and tell them to stop calling but I knew if I said ‘I’m fine’ once more when I wasn’t, I’d snap. A dark alleyway in a foreign town isn't the best place to snap either.
Unconsciously I had found my way to the hotel. I stood across the road wary to approach it. I had the brains to figure out that the others would be waiting for me in there.
Should I go in? If I do they will bombard me with questions I can’t answer and I’ll be forced to lie. I can’t stomach any more lies. I have to go in there eventually, so staying here is just prolonging the torture.
I took a deep breath while looking at the ground, convincing myself to move.
I heard someone approaching.
I straightened up and prepared to cross the road to make way for the person to pass. I was about to step off the path when the mystical voice which I longed for spoke.
“Hey there, stranger.” I turned to the voice.
My jaw dropped.
My eyes widened.
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I’m not around
I won’t give in
I can’t give up
On this love
I choked on a gasp.
My heart skipped a beat.
Tears formed in my eyes… Happy tears… I didn’t bother holding these ones in. I bolted towards him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I didn’t give him a chance to speak again as I pressed my lips on his. As our tongues met again I felt his grip on my waist. His touch still sent excited shivers up my spine.
We held each other so tightly I’m amazed we don’t have broken ribs. His lips were ecstasy, sending me on a high. I felt like I was floating. I ran my fingers through his hair and held his head closer. For what felt like a lifetime we kissed; a true, passionate kiss which we longed for.
When our lips parted I looked deeply into the dark brown eyes which I fell in love with. I didn’t dare move away from his grip, frightened I’d wake up from this dream. His gentle touch brushed my hair from my face and held my cheek. I nuzzled into it, closing my eyes just to enjoy the moment.
“Do you even have to ask?” I grinned and opened my eyes again. I glanced slightly past him and winced. The others were watching us. They had seen it all. Our secret love was out. He traced my stare and swore when he saw it too.
“I don’t care if they are watching,” I concluded out loud. A small grin etched onto his serene face. “I’m not letting you out my grip ever again,”
“That might be awkward,” He joked but I felt relief in his gaze. I muttered one last statement before pulling him into another kiss;
“I love you, Kibum…”
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I’m not around
I won’t give in
I can’t give up
I won’t give in
I can’t give up
On this love